I hesitate to write this. Religious people tend to heap contempt on experiences like I will describe. Atheists act with equal contempt. I find, though, in the cyber-world of blogs, a crowd of witnesses for whom this, I pray, will inspire and encourage for the work of Paraclete which they also pursue.

In 2005 I became very ill with Crohn’s Disease, and would have died if my wife had not persisted in a search for medical care. For those few days between death and the life the treatment restored I lived in acute awareness of the spiritual world. Even for some time afterwards I had visions so vivid I often could not tell a vision from “real” life until sometime later.

Since then the visions have come rarely.

But last night a vision came (intense, realistically real and clear). The meaning did not arise immediately.

The Vision

In the vision I was on security patrol in the assigned truck, always on the same road (not a pretend one, a real one actually on my patrol route). An hour later the vision repeated. This happened four times. At first I did not want the vision to stop as I sensed some message for me in this event. Finally I turned in my bed and the vision weakened in a repeat and then stopped.

The Meaning

The meaning eluded me. Then after breakfast I heard the word, “Watchman”. Naturally I turned to Ezekiel 33 and there the whole layout of my life of calling and ministry stretched before my eyes. The mists cleared and the message mystery resolved.

God said, “I don’t want wicked people to die” (Ezekiel 33:11 God’s Word).

Resolution

I admit that after decades of proclaiming God’s words, teaching the Bible and pursuing justice that the betrayals, apathy, overt malice and underhanded schemes piled on top of “friends” running away from the battles left me solidly in the arms of Jesus, but exasperated with religion which numbs people to sacrificially-lived spirituality. Knowing God’s exasperation far exceeds my own helped, but did not resolve my own bewilderment.

While I have known my mission for Christ sets me as a planter of seeds I have longed to experience some of the harvest. This dream shortfall resolved itself in a way even my human weakness could grasp because of the vision during the night.

When God told me (tells me) to tell out the message from above, “I spoke, and I was no longer quiet” (Ezekiel 33:22 God’s Word). That sums up my entire mission. As a human I wanted something a little more. As a follower of The Way it is all I get.

My Prayer

For those who allow God to work like this, please be encouraged. For those whose respect allows acceptance may it make you happy for me. For any who are bewildered may this pass on a ray of hope. After all, I’m nearly sixty years old and God still teaches, inspires, clarifies, opens eyes and mind like a good kindergarten teacher has to do sometimes.

I thank You, Creator Redeemer, that You still think I am worth teaching. Thank You for bringing into the light what has skirted at the edge of shadows and daybreak for so long. While it makes me breathless that You work so tenderly, may Your Breath/Wind/Spirit renew my strength like an eagle to soar to the heights You have for me.