Shortly after my job was taken away because of racism some people in our connection took it upon themselves to express their opinion. They laid all the blame on me. It must have been my incompetence. After all, God is all-powerful which means nothing happens by human will, or evil. Since God is in control all bad things that happen to us must be our fault. God does only good and can never have the divine will delayed or thwarted by people. It was a very abusive encounter.
I am a persistent believer that truth and justice will win if only people get the facts. So, like always, I stayed in the conversation. Like usual, I was proven unduly optimistic. Finally it became so intolerable I walked away.
At leaving time one of them came up and said they hoped what they had said was helpful. I answered, “Everything you said is what my enemies said.” He was dumbfounded and silenced.
Surprise!
Attacking a victim will NEVER be right. Giving advice based on orthodox theology without “hearing” the story will always be abusive.
Too many humans operate from the Bible verse that says, “This is how everyone will know you are my disciples, if you give advice, push cultural doctrine, act like you are smarter and better than the other, and then think you are a hero because you acted that way.”
Oh, you say that isn’t in the Bible. It must be somewhere because religious people follow this outline, well, religiously.
Surprise! It actually reads, “Everyone will know that you are my disciples because of your love for each other” (John 13:35 God’s Word).
When someone has had their life destroyed, their dreams crushed, their person violated or their human worth trashed they need compassion, empathy, sacrificial love, encouragement and a dose of hope, NOT I’m-smarter-than-you-and-wouldn’t-make-the-mistakes-I-think-you-made-or-ever-be-so-weak-as-to-be-so-hurt-as-you smart ass advice.
I pray if you are in such a situation your response would be to “Love sincerely. Hate evil. Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other…Be happy with those who are happy. Be sad with those who are sad. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be arrogant, but be friendly to humble people. Don’t think that you are smarter than you really are” (Romans 12:9, 10, 15-16 God’s Word).
5 responses to “Have You Tried Empathy?”
nopew
February 28th, 2014 at 19:18
It was years ago. I no longer expect people who serve religion to show anything other than what they show – religious zeal – or laziness. I reached the place long ago of deep sorrow for them, for they must answer to God. My heart breaks for them – now.
Peace
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mwitasblog
February 28th, 2014 at 18:48
Sorry to hear that, David. May God protect you and may He grant you His immeasurable grace.
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nopew
February 28th, 2014 at 10:49
Your take on this uses a very different style than I do, but the substance is similar, so thanks for the link.
Peace
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nopew
February 26th, 2014 at 10:40
I’m sorry to hear you can relate for I do not wish the worst of this on anyone. However, thanks for saying so. May God keep sending positive people into our lives!
Peace
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Planting Potatoes
February 26th, 2014 at 10:34
well written…..I both sympathize and empathize as I can relate!
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Trust is compassion and empathy broadens awareness. | Melanie's Life Online February 27th, 2014 at 23:58
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